Phase 0

Hello, friend.

What a summer already! With so many irons in the fire right now, I am grateful to have some time to fill you in.

Happy 1st Birthday, Cursebreakers LLC!

I cannot believe it has already been a year. These past 12 months have brought more growth and experience than I ever expected when I pulled the trigger and registered my LLC.

Did I make a ton of money? No (not yet, at least). But it should also be mentioned, that is not why I started this project.

After a whole year, I can step back for just a moment, and the bigger picture of my work takes shape. I emerge from the crucible of study with a new perspective and more determination than ever.

The most encouraging and inspirational advice, which has become integral to what I do, boils down to embracing and honoring your life and your passion. Do your due dilligence to your brilliance and to your craft, no matter how many obstacles or challenges you will have to face.

I have had to learn to savor the taste of failure. It's always when I was about to give up, that I end up experiencing a breakthrough.

It wasn't always pleasant, and it certainly has not been easy. But it has been some of the most rewarding and satisfying work I have ever done.

Here's to another year of Cursebreakers!

Phase 0 Summary

In Oregon, 2017, I began writing some (very amateur) documentation, envisioning an agency and platform to solve social problems and empower people. In its infancy, it has had a few different names and iterations, and ended up locked away in the "impossible" realm of my mind for almost 5 years.

Many detours and distractions pulled me down what I considered alternative paths at the time. I lived on bare metal and extremis, working to extract some alchemical salt that I hoped could satisfy the critique of the most cynical and nihilistic seekers (which I tend to be, at times).

After 10,000+ miles in sketchy vehicles, I landed back in my hometown, studying ceremonial magick, biology, psychology and computer science as some foundational elements to formulate my current discipline.

Since 2019, my partner and I lived in an apartment in the village of Cuba, NY. It was here that our fascinations began to expand into thesis, study and experiment. We elevated our careers and raised a garden on our rooftop. I taught myself to code and founded Cursebreakers there.

Phase 0 denotes this period of time that I was processing, healing, and developing myself, arriving in my 30's after such a turbulent decade. I had no confidence, countless fears and demons I had yet to reckon with, and a major chip on my shoulder. In the past 7 years, I have been picking up the slack in these areas, and while I can admit that I am still far from perfect, I have managed to cultivate some peace and happiness in my life.

We have now moved out to the country to save money for our eventual relocation and to begin more practical work on our solutions IRL. With this transition, I'll officially declare Phase 0 a success.

(NOTE: Though it may not seem to be an objective or practical observation, I also see Phase 0 as the time between two solar eclipses in September 2017, and April 2024. These events punctuate a transformative cycle so synchronistically that I must make a note of it with hopes that one day I can explain this phenomenon.)

In other news...

The time out of town is already allowing me to reintegrate the Cursebreaker vision to its natural roots, and I am looking forward to expanding the agency and scope of the project throughout Phase 1.

Hurricane Beryl also glanced past NY on Wednesday, causing a few tornados near Buffalo, Darien and Syracuse. It was pretty boring down here in the Southern Tier, but it's still pretty cool to look up in wonder at the size and power of these systems that make our world feel so alive!

Til next time,

-Esau



Published July 11, 2024 @ 1111 EDT - Last update: July 11, 2024 @ 1617 EDT